Devil in the Details: Strange Coincidences in the British Labour Party Coup

Editor’s Note: as those of you who read my previous post on the subject are no doubt aware, I’ve spent much of my recent time tracking the political situation and fallout from the Brexit vote in the UK. Recently, the raging debacle surrounding Britain’s decision to leave the European Union has resonated far across the ocean here in North America – especially for pinko writers who have developed a bit of a soft spot for Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn; whose success lets me sleep at night when I see how much work still needs to be done “on this side of the pond.” Unfortunately, not all is well on this island of discontent at the moment and there seems to be significant evidence that crass, “Blairite” opportunists in the British Labour Party are using Brexit as an excuse to launch a self-serving coup against Corbyn.

 

Now before we get started, I would like to offer a full confession – I am neither a British person by nationality, nor a particularly avid watcher of British politics; at least until about two weeks before the Brexit vote when the issues surrounding it finally managed to penetrate the US media consciousness and various Op-Ed pieces. I am however a new fan of Youtube news sensation, writer and political activist Owen Jones and I’ve made a point of catching not only his show, but many of his public media appearances in what are often, quite hostile corporate media environments as well. In other words, I have enough passing familiarity to know the whos, whats and hows of British political life but I’ll be the first to admit that I’m lacking the necessary nuance to properly explain all of the whys in the context of a truly ancient nation with it’s own, richly diverse political history.

Naturally, in light of this confession; some of you may question if reading a dozen articles and catching a few hours of thoroughly fucking dreadful SkyNews broadcasts qualifies me to discuss British politics and you’d be completely right to do so – it doesn’t and if you’re looking for a thorough breakdown of what Brexit means for the British, this isn’t the article for you. I am however at heart, a bit of a muckraker who spends way too much time on Twitter; as a result, I couldn’t help but notice a series of fascinating “coincidences” surrounding the Labor Party and British Media’s attempts to depose popular party leader Jeremy Corbyn. Although, I fully accept that I may not be entirely qualified to expound at length on British politics, I am keenly aware of a ratfucking, neoliberal conspiracy when I see one and I’d like to draw attention to a long series of strange “coincidences” surrounding the attempted Labour Party coup:

 

• The decision to rebel against Corbyn has been painted by establishment Labour MPs and the British media as an overwhelming response to Corbyn’s supposedly tepid support of the Remain campaign; particularly his unwillingness to appear in public with now disgraced, former Prime Minister David Cameron in support of the vote.

• Jeremy Corbyn’s political views are notably further left than the vast majority of ministers in his party, many of whom remain in government after serving under neoliberal, imperialist scumbag (and former Prime Minister) Tony Blair and remain firm supporters of his political philosophy – known as Blairism.

• Blairism is of course just another nice way of saying neoliberal or Third-Way politics and as a result, these former New Labour refugees are by and large supportive of rich people, giant corporations and illegal foreign wars so long as they get paid and none of their kids dies like a dog in the sand. This concept should be quite familiar to American readers who are used to dealing with both the mainstream Democratic Party and the supposedly “moderate” wing of the American Republican Party as well.

• Like their American counterparts, the British media largely consists of a limited number of massive corporations controlled entirely by wealthy pricks who don’t like socialists. Naturally, this means that the British media (at least for the most part) hates Jeremy Corbyn and the lefty “proles” he represents with the passion of a thousand suns; enough to repeatedly lie about him to try and force his resignation.

• Despite this lack of support and often, open animosity towards Corbyn from his own party and the British media, he was elected to be leader of the Labour Party by an overwhelming majority of presumably, left-leaning, populist party members less than a year ago.

• This, in turn has created a fascinating dynamic whereby mainstream Labour Party members, the media and wealthy British elites are openly capable of banding together to try and force another leadership election (something they’ve now done, by voting no-confidence 172 -40 in Parliament; in a non-binding motion designed to increase pressure on Corbyn) but they are highly unlikely to actually get rid of Corbyn without either a massive scandal or the Labour leader’s own resignation – his popular support among voting members is simply too strong regardless of how much money Labour Party elites throw at deposing him.

• Naturally, this has lead to a highly-publicized and completely transparent attempt to utterly destroy Jeremy Corbyn’s reputation (and thus popular support) by Labour MPs, the British media and numerous wealthy elites in Britain who stand to lose a great deal of very real money if Corbyn ever becomes Prime Minister. How badly do these neoliberal shitweasles want Corbyn to resign? Well, they’ve openly begun sabotaging important financial legislation designed to help poor people; I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried.

• Among the wealthy elites most dedicated to deposing Corbyn is batshit crazy, but highly influential children’s author J.K Rowling (of Harry Potter fame.) Like most obscenely rich British people who support neoliberal politics, Rowling is fundamentally opposed to left-wing populism and has recently undertaken an increasingly desperate Twitter campaign to paint Corbyn supporters as literal fascists.

• Perhaps the most effective tweet Rowling employed in this endeavor is this one – a somewhat shocking image of a smiling, elderly man in a brand new T-shirt that could be construed as threatening only by the most obtuse, Blairite shithead alive; so basically Rowling. Normally, I’d pass off such an attempt to be willfully obtuse for political purposes as mere tradition in western politics but as it turns out there’s quite a number of problems with the photo, which renowned British investigative journalist Craig Murray helpfully explains on his site. The long and short of it is that Rowling posted a cropped photo, created by a full-time employee of a pro-Blair pressure group (Anna Phillips) and a social media guru (Lewis Parker) who were too goddamn stupid to stay out of the picture they’d likely just faked entirely.

• This stunning “coincidence” comes alongside other strange happenings; including a PR professional with known ties to Tony Blair happening across Corbyn at a gay pride rally and heckling him mercilessly. Or that time a guy randomly saw Corbyn in a tapas restaurant in London and swears up and down that Corbyn told him he was voting Leave; complete hearsay and Corbyn denies it of course but somehow it just happened to make the DailyMail splash sheets all the same. Perhaps the bull mother of all the strange coincidences around the anti-Corbyn coup however is the curious fact that Labour leadership hopeful Angela Eagle registered her campaign website a full two days before she resigned from Corbyn’s shadow cabinet and coincidentally, it was set up by, you guessed it Tony Blair’s former PR thingy Joe McCrea.

• Of course, arguably the greatest coincidence in this story is the fact that the whole saga started a mere two weeks before the release of the highly anticipated Chilcot Report; the summation of a seven year inquiry by the British government into the actions of (that name again!) Tony Blair and his former Labour government during the highly-illegal Iraq War. In yet another stunning coincidence, Jeremy Corbyn has gone on record stating that he would not hesitate to pursue Blair for war crimes if the report suggested Blair was guilty of them.

• Although extremely recent indications have been that Blair will ultimately not be charged with war crimes, the outrage in the UK at this decision has been palpable and rumors persist that MPs from a variety of parties may attempt to use ancient Parliamentary law to impeach him anyways. Regardless, at the time the coup began against Corbyn there would have been no way to know the final outcome of the report and even in light of the findings; a leadership battle cuts significant oxygen from the growing inferno of British people calling for Blair’s arrest and prosecution.

 

Friends, as I have stated, I am not a British person and I am in fact, somewhat ignorant of your political history; so you will have to forgive me for using the unsophisticated, blunt language we Americans are famous for – something absolutely fucking stinks in the British Labour Party and it sure as fuck ain’t the 70 year old socialist leading the band. Why, if I didn’t know better I’d be inclined to think that cynical Blairties all across Britain in both the public and private sector had been just waiting for any opportunity to get rid of Jeremy Corbyn and thereby protect their degenerate, war criminal patron Tony Blair. One would almost think the Brexit vote has absolutely nothing to do with the matter at all and the Labour coup actually represents a civil war that’s been brewing for years between fake-left Labour elites and their genuinely exasperated and largely pinko, populist supporters. Of course, that’s just my completely uninformed, Yankee opinion.

Aston Villa ‘Till I Die.

 

• Nina Illingworth