New Wall of Shame Updates: April 23rd, 2016

Editor’s Note: the 2016 Democratic Primary campaign remains a fertile ground for identifying disingenuous media drones openly collaborating with presumed-nominee Hillary Clinton, as we add two new names to the Wall of Shame today. Now that Clinton’s campaign has been forced to openly admit they were paying people to shitpost about Hillary’s opponents online, the media hacks in the corrupt Clinton Network are working overtime to manufacture support for their Imperialist, neoliberal candidate.

 

Jamelle Bouie:

 

Wanted: by neoliberals who didn’t “get” John Stewart & all nine voters who still believe in Scott Walker.

Crimes: projecting false neutrality while openly shilling for Hillary Clinton, retweeting other disingenuous hacks who openly shill for Hillary Clinton, message crafting for Hillary Clinton, accusing anyone who opposes Clinton of dividing the Democratic party, pretending that anyone besides his fucking mother gives a shit about his amateur photography, repeatedly comparing Hillary Clinton’s opponents to nutjob neocon failures, joining the long list of middle-age dipshit men who have strong opinions about censorship on college campuses they haven’t visited in over a decade, arguing that not being allowed to vote is not voter suppression, seriously touting Scott Walker’s chances of winning the GOP nomination, throwing shade at John Stewart like anyone told this dissembling pissant it was okay for him to have a legend like Stewart’s name on his mutherfucking lips, defending Bill Clinton’s objectively goddamn racist crime bill, pretending his job manufacturing public support for Hillary Clinton is so strenuous it justifies subjecting the world to his insipid takes on comic books and comic book movies, repeatedly denying the existence of an American socialist movement, trying to grow a Stringer Bell beard and failing miserably, being so self absorbed that he superimposed a second copy of his own fucking face on his Twitter profile photo, making me log out of Twitter to compile this list because he blocked me for calling out his attempts to smear Hillary Clinton’s opponents, his bizarre affectation for checkered button-down shirts, pretending that anyone who doesn’t support Hillary Clinton is racist, was once arrested after a six day jenkem binge in Washington DC that culminated in standing bare-ass naked before a seventeen foot high bronze statue of Ulysses S Grant and repeatedly challenging it to “a duel for the honor of the South.”

Collaborator Rating: 8/10 – like many others on this list, Bouie manages to rack up a couple points in his favor by counting coup on zombie Republican scumbags like Mitt Romney and raising awareness about racial injustice towards African Americans. Unfortunately, he then proceeds to take a steaming, fetid shit all over the very concept of journalistic integrity by denying the existence of a socialist movement and repeatedly smearing anyone who opposes noeliberalism in general. Bouie is also an absolute master at framing people who oppose Hillary Clinton in an extremely negative light and then petulantly protesting his own neutrality when publicly called out on his loathsome behavior.

 

Jill Filipovic:

 

Wanted: respectfully and from a distance just outside the range of pepper spray.

Crimes: literally accusing anyone who opposes Hillary Clinton of being an anti-feminist and/or a misogynist, openly shilling for Hillary Clinton, message crafting for Hillary Clinton, proudly displaying the title Cosmopolitan senior political writer in her social media profile without a hint of goddamn irony whatsoever, repeatedly attacking Hillary Clinton’s opponents with straw man arguments, being essentially everything that’s wrong with narcissistic privileged White Feminism, repeatedly touting the fairness and value of a bullshit NY Daily News tabloid smear job on Bernie Sanders that lacked even the slightest fucking hint of journalistic integrity, dressing like a real life mutherfucking Heather, erasing people of color by claiming everyone who opposes Hillary Clinton is white, erasing women by claiming everyone who opposes Hillary Clinton is male, pretending supporters of anyone who opposes Hillary Clinton are domestic fucking terrorists, purposely starting shit with Bernie Sanders supporters online and then crying abuse when they respond, seriously writing a column in which she actually typed “I’d rather not be known as Vibrator Girl” and thereby demonstrated that the Streisand Effect still functions exactly as advertised, repeatedly defending the odious and sexist behavior of Bill Clinton, pretending Bill Clinton will be happy to tend rose gardens and won’t be a ridiculously active member of a Hillary Clinton administration, has not physically touched another human being in over seven years as a result of obtaining a legally-binding 120 yard restraining order against “literally fucking everyone” during the 2008 Democratic Primary.

Collaborator Rating: 9/10 – likely owing to the noted vapidity of her audience at Cosmo, Filipovic’s shamefully fawning dissemination of Clinton campaign lies is neither clever, or subtle. Always prepared with a reactionary, poorly thought-out hot take in response to the slightest hint of criticism, Jill is most highly valued for her ability to shamelessly portray any opposition to Hillary Clinton whatsoever as part of a relentless war on all women as a whole. The only thing keeping Filipovic from scoring a perfect ten here is her notable work in the field of embarrassing dipshit men’s right activists and right wing media drones.

 

Wondering where the fuck all the white dudes are at? Looking for more glorious Wall of Shame action? Don’t worry, we’ve got you covered – just click on the image below to see the full Wall in all of it’s hideous splendor:

 

 

• Nina Illingworth